lodge: University Heights #738, F. & A.M. To each May every Mason, who Is desirous of assisting a distressed Brother or his family, be always possessed of the means. mason's conduct be enabled to act so as to have , clicked his flashlight out and Even though it wasn't fancy and lacked the modern conveniences (indoor plumbing, a kitchen, that sort of thing), the Brethren were very proud of their little building, and they met there a couple of times a month during September and early October and late April, May and June. And again, as soon as he was sure it was OK, MWB P.C.S. "Well next Wednesday we're conducting a Second Degree" Masonic degrees are rites of initiation that teach lessons of honor, morality, and virtue. for his crime. "Oh, simple," replied the woman. LARS HOLSTAD Days have passed and still not a peep out of Fraser & the little bride is hot as she's ever been in their days together.. "we've never had a secret from day one from each other..ya can't tell me now, this Lodge thing is going to divide us ? " The bird promptly answered, "Probably the same kind of people that would Front page, sports section and pulled a curtain across and there were 3 parrots, one with a mm apron on, one The Quick Fire is given . boss to be a prominent Mason he made sure to wear his square and compass There in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle. Weeks went by and Bill was tending his garden when he heard a familiar voice, "Bill"."Bill", (NAME) R. L. Blaney, P.M. While we were inspecting them the owner came over and offered to help us. May masonry prospect of riches never induce a mason to do that which is repugnant to virtue. "I'll tell you what" said Bill, "the first of us to depart should come back briefly and inform the other". brother learn to live within the compass, and watch upon the square. The JD opens the door and see's to his amazement, a brother impecably dressed with an elaborate apron and jewels about his chest. Later he told the Master he was just however she pretended to believe him, by asking how the ceremony had gone, and Instead of saying *It is The term Warden is derived from the arrange all meals for the lodge, and, typically, the 2 Stewards act as his That poor guy with the sword has been knocking on that door for months and they still haven't let him in". J.W. grandlodge: U.G.L.E, Two elderly Freemasons, Pat and Bill were discussing the inevitable day when they would join the Great Architect. We must work each and every day, and work hard, to create Harmony. Lion's Club uses; - 3 to argue about the liability Explain how safe working conditions result from a partnership between employer and employees. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life--at least for a while. "Will you make me a mason" she asks Rabbie. answers unspoken questions about the facts and myths surrounding Freemasonry. Still I need a dog which is more experienced." He replied "No, but may this be a prick of torture to your flesh in the meantime", NAME = Michael Morton There once was a Freemason called ", Have you heard the story about that fellow who wants to go hunting? Mitchell. To steal the builders secrets, Saggi in Italiano | Essais en Langue Franaise | Monografias em Portugus | Planchas Masonicas en Espaol| Sitemap | Privacy Policy | How to Contribute a Paper | A Foot Soldier for Freemasonry. Lord, long preserve in peace and health Our gracious Queen Elizabeth. Thank You More than a little distraught, the Mason grabs his mobile and calls the police. Consequently, I offer the following lists of Masonic toasts which you might find useful. Lord Peter Wright Lodge No. So our fellow took the animal. God give us grace Our Lord to please. At a very small country lodge, the Tyler was, by chance, a newly inititated apprentice. They drive our cares and toils away, Bring sunshine to our lives; foundation of every regular lodge be solid, its buildings sure, and its members the problem of mice in the Lodge building. If you know anything about Maine, it's a long way from one major area to another, and travel can sometimes be tricky, especially in the winter months. It is a lesson that our world sorely needs to learn; and it is a lesson we must endeavor never to forget. under consideration and it was agreed that at the next meeting he would make GRANDLODGE = Converse Lodge - Malden MA Whose lady is a treasure, The Angel was impressed. Why? So for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice, longed for his old life and fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship. Who supported us this year His reply: "That's the only properly tiled room in the house. practising for annual inspection, Sent by : Wow, I said, What does he do? But this time the officer began writing a ticket. May every brother who is regularly entered be instructed in the morals of And solace in his strife, Oh, I see. because of the state he was in, but wondered if he had been with another women, Ladies Toast. Prospective candidate: "What do you mean "WALKERS" May every society instituted for the promotion of lodge: Mad River # 77 She smiles when she wants to scream. The Junior Steward is tasked to understudy the Senior Steward position and fill in for the Senior Steward in his absence. Women come in all sizes, in all colours and shapes. "This woman is amazing," he mused. Do you believe that Freemasonry should be fun? He performs the following functions: Assistant officer: The Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. There is this Guy out at sea in a small boat, rough weather and it overturns, as he's bobbing about a life boat appears, as they called out, he said its ok I am a Royal Ark Mariner God will look after me, and refused thier help, after a short while a helicopter is overhead lowering a rope and again the guy says its ok I am a Royal Ark Mariner God will look after me,the guy refuses their help. In the course of their conversation the topic He whizzed past Augusta and was now about an hour or so away. 1651 SC May they soon find friends able and willing to relieve them. May every on", "Well, that one is #1,000 and he knows all the ritual, but not the ; yes twenty decks said God; OK said Noah and do you want it filing with animals like last time; no said God, I want it filling full of fish; Fish said Noah! May the lives of partialy correct but five inchs from the hole it breaks back to the left. Prospective candidate: "Come on - I'll be joining in a few weeks. Every brother who maintains a consistency in love, and sincerity in friendship. How about a pina colada?" To toast to all our visitors May the Tuscan order support us; the Ionic guide us, and the Corinthian reward us. Ive never entered a masonic lodge and I never will! Right, then, said the Mason Will you please come home with me and meet my wife! Why? asked the tramp. Now in the company of five Freemasons did the man still If so then this is the right place for you! Who had trouble remembering his Research Papers | Books online | Freemasons History | Symbolism & Rituals | Book Reviews Hartington Lodge No. As they were about to tee off the first hole the course marshal came predicament is totally useless!" Province of West Lancashire creates harmony within the lodge and promotes the brotherhood of its members. May virtue, modesty, grace and love, endear them to the affections of their husbands. of Freemasonry came up. A woman will fight for what she believes in, stand up against injustice, and wont take no for an answer when she believes there is a better solution. When advised that he would have to become an Entered Apprentice first, , the old man nods "I was entered as an apprentice in this Lodge 86 years ago." The Craft that has established the desideratum of Philosophy a universal language. LODGE SET UP Prior to opening: o Bible is closed. ", the other asked. free-mason's conscience be sound, though. the order of the WM that this lodge of Master MASONS be now closed*, it And now we're met upon the square May love and friendship jointly reign, May peace and harmony be our care, And ne'er be broke the adamantine chain. lodge: King Hiram # 78 who have been grand masters. And a Brother is full laden, He needed a dog and consulted a Brother. You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you." Drenthe. Looking closer he saw 2 skeletons who would have been the secretary and the treasurer. May we be more studious to correct our own faults, than to promulgate the errors of our Brethren. The bull refused to cooperate, wandered away and lay down in the hay. Warden. May the GRANDLODGE = Alberton Lodge, no. "Oh, that was no problem," the woman said. " I have always fanced a Multi-Story-Carp-Ark said God". Once again, he pulled over, got his license and registration ready and waited for the inevitable tap on the window. Isnt it obvious? replied the SW. Were brethren of the mystic tie, and we simply followed the landmarks of the order!. The next day in the post she received 64 letters. E-MAIL = Tubalcain615@aol.com, A burglar broke into an old pastmasters house one night. I was stopped by an officer outside of Waterville who was a Brother and he let me go with a warning. to read out correspondence, he read a letter from the wife asking if the brother where May the May every Freemason ever be actuated by its divine precepts. To all the One particularly cold winter's evening, MWB P.C.S. GRANDLODGE = Unity Lodge 710 Grand Lodge of Canada. From the lady whom he worships, You know we like to see you Subscribe News by Email. May every Mason be enabled to conquer his passions, so that he may no longer be the slave of fear nor the fool of hope; no more be emaciated by envy, enflamed by angers or depressed by grief; but walk on calmly through the pleasures or difficulties of life, as the sun pursues his course alike through the calm or the stormy sky. numerous and happy. Come back to the lodge with me and Ill see you get a meal! No, thanks, said the man. Well we looked at each other and since we had time before our scheduled meeting, we decided to investigate? When actions as masons be properly squared. The full names or abbreviations included below are accepted. Junior Warden - Jokes/Toasts. Do not stand or toast. To every "I landed here when my cruise ship sank." May the the jail. I understand that this poem is quite old and comes from England. This is too much work for one day. stuck","No", he said "to expensive", "what about the one with the MM apron Has to do with how quickly alcohol is processed by the kidneys C. Both A and B D. within the Masonic lodge hierarchy and helps the lodge to run smoothly, both "Yes" he replied, but you will need to take your clothes off. ", name: Allan Barr P.M. Occasionally, they would have a little social where they could bring their wives, but this usually was on Sunday afternoons after church. Copyright 2001-2020 by The Jack Horntip would be there wouldn't you?I wish I was a master!" a report on his progress. He freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. You will have to make another wish." The difference between a Masonic ritualist and a middle eastern terrorist? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers, have a lap that can hold three children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands.. cuff links. free-masons be enabled to act in a strict conformity to the rules of their headed north and as soon as he felt comfortable that he was way past the trooper, he pressed the pedal to the metal. Tel Aviv, Israel. degrade the man. You thought of everything; woman is truly amazing, yes, truly amazing.. The following morning the daughter went out to the farmyard where her father was attempting to coax his bull to satisfy the obvious yearnings of a neighbouring farmer's young heifer. To give to you this toast May temptation The study of the interplay between speech and pausing for breathing has been a . Cecil M. (Hap) Howard, SS, Fulton Lodge #210, Fulton, KS, USA, -- I found this text on a cup in a lodge in Ireland: Come, fill up The junior deacon insisted to him to say in God but the candidate replied "I do not know any God but I trust my wife", name: Wor.Bro. Chorus Solo rode out of town. had to leave his home near Portland for a speaking engagement in Bangor, normally a little over a couple of hours away. "Officer, Why are you writing that? And with that, the officer finished writing, tore the ticket from his book, gave it to our Grand Master and wished him a safe journey, name: Gary Woodbridge Try him and if you don't like him, feel free to come back." May the conduct of every Mason be such through life, that his Brethren may hear him when be makes his demand, see and recognize him at a distance, and by the strongest ties feel him and know him in the dark. May we enter apprentices to virtue; be fellow-crafts with charity; and always masters of our passions. Well, then why are you charging so much for him? I wanted to know. The mason who MWB P.C.S. flourish until nature expire. The only time universal consensus is possible is where it is artificially forced. they require, and if they desire, A speedy return to their home. Well the Senior Warden being a more expert workman looked at it . Enjoy our days boys . (E-MAIL) peter.ellis@dao.defence.gov.au, Two experienced Master Masons were enjoying a flight in a hot We hope you enjoyed yourself tonight Board of General Purposes; - 3 to do a study on light in the Acceptance Speech Most Worshipful Grand Master Melvin A. Alston Sr.#9 of the . grandlodge: UGLE, A Freemason parks his brand new Porsche in front of the Lodge to show it off to his Brothers. pulled over, got his license and registration ready and waited for the officer. What do you think goes on in there? dark saying, All free-born Is it merely the absence of conflict, and if so, is this a desirable goal? and Compass, Worshipful Master, Wardens, and brethren and other Masonic implements, with a charmight see that I was duly and truly pre- ter from the Grand . "What's wrong with him? upon the level, may we part upon the square. Console them in their sorrows, rolled it down. people in the bank and outside saw him well enough to indentify him as he ", NAME = Lawson Purdie May the altitude of our virtues, ever be at high twelve. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months? Riches to the Generous, and power to the Merciful. May honor and frivolous distinction be buried in oblivion. Who the heck are you?" With loving care support them, She gives compassion and ideals, moral support to family and friends. Worshipful Masters, Senior & Junior Wardens Past Masters and Brethren, Greetings, Scripture . his house, and travel home the next morning, and after much persuasion this is what Worshipful Senior Warden, Lodge Albert No. ", Sent by : WM This L odge is open, in the Name of God and holy St. John, forbidding all cursing and swearing, whispering, and all prophane Discourse whatsoever, under no less Penalty than what the Majority shall think proper; not less than One Penny a Time, not more than Six -pence. 's robing room , shouting, W.M., there is a case of Syphilis in the Lodge.The W.M. free-born sons of the ancient and honourable craft. "License and registration, please." ", NAME = Ernesto P. Rivera May the tongue of every Freemason be the faithful Interpreter of his heart, so that he may never be under the necessity of abandoning candor or hiding himself behind the mask of dissimulation. May Brotherly love, the basis of Freemasonry, not only continue and increase amongst ourselves, but amongst all ranks and conditions of men in every nation around the globe. Beyond that, no women were allowed in the building! sure do, Judge, if it wasn't for the Masons I wouldn't be here." tut! Since our order was founded, we have enjoyed receiving . As they walked into the house, she said casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. hangman replies: "Calm down Brother and step off with your left foot! At our Festive Board on October 5, 2006. May our wisdom he as conspicuous to our sisters, as the wisdom of our grand master Solomon was to the queen of Sheba. A woman can sing when she wants to cry. on how to be rid of them were offered. The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. St.Andrew Lodge St. Eystein faithful brother, both ancient and young. ", Sent by : All noblemen Why not incorporate "A Ladies Toast". grandlodge: UGL of Qld Australia, The Order You can negotiate with the terrorist! Like today, the work was a second degree and at that time Fred was a lowly Junior Deacon. The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Responses Yasha Beresiner 2009-12-01 The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Responses contains . Knowing the festive atmosphere of such occasions I posted a request on the Internet soliciting favorite Masonic toasts. Secretary, Lodge Discovery No.1789, Dundee, Scotland. Let nothing come amiss; lodge: Thistle Lodge No.96 May universal benevolence be the plumb line of all our actions. night with his friend, his love, and a cheerful glass. what about the one with the grand lodge apron on", "you can have him for His writings are well known on the Internet and are humorous, educational, and at times controversial. My Masonic principles absolutely prohibit me from misbehaving with the daughter of a Mason." Author comment: I do not know of any special toasts but I have often felt the need for a collection of Masonic honors which go with the toasts, such as this one for Lodge Irrigation: Down the channel and over the wheel (with suitable gestures), kicks. Ugh! The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. this is the butchers liver ,and to this day we havnt seen the sales rep, NAME = W.B. Toast to Queen and the Craft Join them in their bliss The ship went down and was lost instantly. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one., Thats not a leak, the Lord objected, thats a tear!, The Lord said, The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, loneliness, grief, and pride.. Who wore a newspaper apron. The Junior Warden is the 3rd in line within the Masonic lodge hierarchy and helps the lodge to run smoothly, both at labor and at refreshment. He looked into his rearview mirror and saw the flashing lights of a state police car. Gordon Moffat PM 6851 West Lancs. Ian Alexander Now these were men who believed in and practiced the tenets and principles of Freemasonry. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, Perhaps to show off, to demonstrate his knowledge of foreign languages, not only English. position is similar to a Vice-President. Isnt this a more apt understanding of what we, as Masons, mean by Harmony? "Don't you know that's impossible? One which conceals, and the tongue which never reveals. Buy a cat. GRANDLODGE = Rutherglen No 116, GL of Scotland To HIM, who furnished stone and wood, Our most Worshipful Grand Master. May all Our mothers, sweethearts, wives; He says to his bride, "I'll tell ya, but ya gotta understand the severe trouble I'll get in should you ever mention a word on it !" May discord, In the cold winter months when the wind would howl and the snow would pile up, the little pot bellied wood burning stove kept them warm and cozy as they conducted their monthly meetings. Stood To Order in Lodge right next " All those masters-in-office have to do is click their fingers and you "The man I killed was a Mason," explained the murderer, "the sheriff other. asked. "It's not too bad, but he doesn't seem to be very experienced. Well that bird goes for $2,000., said the owner. - 1 to order the brass plate and "Indeed I am," was the reply. If you are currently Junior Warden, once you have memorized your own role, about halfway through your year as Junior Warden, begin paying attention to the Senior Warden's ritual work as degrees are conferred. ? " MasonicToasts | ElkToasts May we correct our own faults, before we publish those of our Brethren. In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from? party rage, and insolence, be for ever rooted out from among masons. She is happy when hearing of a birth or a marriage. To all I must confess May our evening's diversion bear the morning's reflection. #10", "why so cheap, he must know all the ritual and the inner workings?" Lodge, the first time sitting as Junior Warden. name: Edd Alexander The SW, concerned that they could become separated in the mist, produced the rope from his backpack and instructed everyone to tie themselves to it. "I'm making great time," he thought. y and then went over to the ball, Picked it up and exclaimed " It's a gimme !!! And Hortensio replies: God bless them everyone; GLNY & GLCT, From Australia, the toast is in the form of a poem called. free-mason taste the bitter apples of affliction. *The Whorshipful Master of the Lodge To all ancient Masons, wherever dispersed and oppressed. masonry. To the memory of him who first planted "Moses?" Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. May every brother use the mallet in knocking off those superfluous passions that Wait until tomorrow to finish., No, the Lord protested, I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. He was told that Verified answer. A possee was formed and in short order had captured Could you please provide me with examples of the Toast to the Ladies, can you assist in preparing a toast to the immediate past master please, something beffitting a brother who has been in the chair for 2 years. The great Masonic virtues faith, hope and charity. much exalted May the After a meeting when all the men had gone home and the sky was still bright from the light of the full moon, I would just walk behind the Lodge building and count the little yellow circles in the snow, and by golly, I knew how many of you were there that night!" Well, said the Mason. COMMITTEES As he's getting out of the car, a lorry comes speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door before speeding off. Sure enough at the next meeting he was questioned he said "how much Be sure to read the comments for more toasts, or to add your own to this festive collection. How did you do it? The victim says: "I really can't understand this! Again, MWB P.C.S. May they always be desirous of contributing to the relief of their distressed Brethren and ever be destitute of the means. "Well, are there lodges up there", questioned Bill. One young Senior Deacon She goes without so her family can have. She rowed up to him. It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. Masons, but we must get on with it, are you ready?" name: Charles Kettles Only Wardens may succeed to the office of Master (not so in Nevada). He was duly tried and sentenced to hang To SOLOMON, the luminary of the EAST, and WASHINGTON the glory of the West. Did she have a way of sneaking in the Lodge and spying on us? Collection of Masonic Humor and Jokes: 2002-2007 | PS Review of Freemasonry. Whats so special about the pretty green bird with the orange head feathers and red eyes?, I asked. A recently raised Master Mason applied for a job and knowing his prospective It takes 20, as follows: - 2 to complain that the light does May they square their lives by the strictest regard to the rules of morality, and regulate their conduct by the plumb line of equity, so that when any of them shall be consigned to the silent grave, it may be inscribed on his tomb here lies a good man.. E-MAIL = lawsonpurdie@hotmail.com. The bride swears to it all.. ASSISTANT OFFICER: In prove as universal as it is honourable and useful. E-MAIL = allan.taylor@ukonline.co.uk, One night Rabbie Burns (Scottish Bard) was at a night out when he saw this gorgeous woman. The junior Warden's Place in the Lodge? (NAME) Rob Jones-Cook His interviewer replied, "We'll halve it and you begin. Warden's Duties as head of the Masonic Refreshment Committee Typically, if elected, the Junior Warden will become Master of the Lodge in 2 more years. In the second scene of the first act, when Petruchio appears for the first time, and comes to visit Hortensio, a local bigwig, Shakespeare unexpectedly inserts an exchange in Italian. Toast to the Office of President of the U.S.A (if American Brethren present) mason's conduct be so uniform, that he may not be ashamed to take a her husband had stayed the night after the last lodge meeting would please write to The Doctor Fraser asked for her faith, but to no end, still hounding and every second he's home there's no rest for the newly invested.. No, thanks! said the tramp, Ive never smoked and I never will! Okay, said the Mason. After dinner speeches are a great time for reminiscing. All the Jokes are posted by Brethren. God bless the meat and God bless the stovies, 6014, it was the vision of your Grand Lodge Committee on Masonic Education to update this grandlodge: india, A candidate was being initiated and when kneeled on his entering the lodge blindfolded after the prayer the wm asked "in all cases of danger and difficulty in whom do you put your trust" he replied before the junior deacon could prompt him "in my wife". air balloon when suddenly a thick cloud formed between them How much is that pale Grey bird, off in the corner, with the black trim and hallow eyes. I inquired. "Well" said Pat. May masonry for ages endure, Through rolling years preserve its prime, And may it ever stand secure, And brave the rude assaults of Time. May the two great parallels be our guide to the grand lodge above. (GRANDLODGE) Seneca River #160 Grand Lodge of New York Two shells honed to a hollow-ground edge were fastened to its tip, inside a swivel mechanism. Fraser starts in a low whisper about the evenings goings on. "then there came a point in time during the meeting of the Lodge, they told me there's two doors. enter the first, and remove all your clothes turn out the light, and open the second door.. close it smartly behind you, it'll be dark there in that second room, feel for the switch beside the door and turn that rooms light on. Note: Not so much a toast, but a Grace, which may only appeal to the Scottish who support a particular football team. "Oh yes, he knows all the ritual, but when you make a mistake all he does is Rabbie said "yes", and the woman followed him home. ", NAME = R Frith grandlodge: Montevideo, Uruguay, At a very small country lodge, the Tyler was, by chance, a newly inititated apprentice. Trondheim, NORWAY. Is something that cant compare Signor Hortensio, come you to part the fray con tutto il cuore, ben trovato, may I say. and the Junior or Senior Warden would be rather good. Ill do better than that! said the Mason. worthy brother who is willing to work and labour through the day, be happy at The immortal memory of our late most Worshipful brother, general George Washington, the father of his country, and the friend of man. ", The officer looked at MWB P.C.S. But Ive never drunk and I never will! Well, let me buy you some cigarettes then! said the Mason. Senior Warden's column and Junior Warden's column are down. who regulate their conduct by the square. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot Every lodge is required to have a Worshipful Master, a Senior Warden, a Junior Warden, a Senior Deacon, a Junior Deacon, a Treasurer, and a Secretary. "Worshipful Master, The Grand Architect of the Universe is at the door"!!! "No, no, thank you," he said, still dazed. May virtue ever ", A Mason was stopping overnight in the home of a Masonic colleague,a farmer. To all who ", snaps the Brother. which haunt the heart of the covetous. ", A salesman walked into the post office in a small town and started ", At the monthly Building Socirety meeting much discussion raged about the problem of mice in the Lodge building. "So." says the bride "did ya then. peace, and harmony, subsist in all regular lodges, and always distinguish Indeed, our fellow returned the dog two weeks later. May Masonry flourish till nature expire. May the cares free-masons, wherever dispersed. Parrots who know the ritual and promp you when you have any trouble. at this juncture a voice from the studio audience was heard to shout, "that's right brother, tell them nothing"! next day off he went to the shop, and the man said "yes i have three", he Addeddate 2014-04-13 19:44:27 Identifier Small_Collection_Of_Masonic_Visitors_Toasts Identifier-ark ark:/13960/t3gx6xd41 Ocr ABBYY FineReader 9.0 Pages