my boyfriend ignores me when his sister is around my boyfriend ignores me when his sister is around

I get that siblings get along and that's nice, it's lovely that they get on so well. You can have a whole dramatic conversation about it, but why? But right now it sounds like she hasn't even confronted him about it yet. Pearl Nash Showing you feel neglected is important. How quickly you expect a reply will probably depend on your texting habits in the past with one another. He is young. And stress that you want to go alone as a couple. Forget about his sister being involved, is he treating you the way you want to be treated in a relationship? I still think your boyfriends behaviour is a little bit too much with his sister though, but I dont know, people behave in all sorts of weird ways with their families! Every time he hangs out with his friends, he completely ignores you. Yes but! But your feelings need to be considered too. Our relationships are our relationships and we dont make them apart of them. I of course am supportive because she is his sister and I enjoy spending time with her but it kind of is upsetting when its every single time we go out. Do not botter to try. Read on! To be honest, you are all so young if you choose to be in a relationship, you should choose to spend >90% of the time completely happy and enjoying the joy a relationship brings. The fact how he treats his sister shows that he KNOWS how to do it he's just not doing it to you. Relationships can be confusing, especially if you and your boyfriend have trouble communicating effectively. I'd walk. Get out there and have it! It's easy for either of you to feel neglected or ignored if the other is getting more of what they want than they are. You take crap once, you feel like crap and then you feel like more crap for not doing something about it. October 17, 2022, 2:15 pm. His actions sound weird. You deserve an apology and immediate change because you arent asking much. Once he keeps losing girlfriends over the same issue, he will naturally change, if he wants. Maybe she's too lonely and your boyfriends try to make her sister feels less lonely and is afraid that she feels forgotten now that he has you. Its best to work on your own issues first, so you can better understand what caused them. You aren't their therapist and don't owe him a damn thing. Ive talked with my therapist about how to address issues with my own SO a few times and to keep things civil its best to talk first about how YOUVE been feeling before following it up with what has been making you feel that way. Its getting to the point where I dont even want to go over. Conversely, he might assume she would volunteer a suggestion if she had one. You need a grown man who's ready to leave the coupe and make a family for himself. You can discuss this with him but it seems like he needs more time to mature and figure out how to treat a romantic partner well. Regardless if hes a great brother. I want to start off saying that she has always been nice to me and that's why I feel so badly about feeling this way. We understand it's frustrating when your boyfriend ignores you when he's with his friends. If everything you said is true, this would for sure be a deal breaker for me, I would say have a talk with him and tell him how you feel. Life's too short to play second fiddle. Keep us updated. He's obviously either in love with his sister or B: doesnt give a shit about you. Find your voice to voice your wants and opinions. This is not him. But the truth is, the only way you will ever know whats going on in his head is by asking him. Everyone in this thread is toxic. Some men can't make the connection, but they can if you force them to think about it. If you get the feeling he is ignoring you, confront him. That way you leave the door open for making up, but you put the ball in his court. Don't say that you want him to treat you more like her, or that you to to spend more time with him without her, because he'll see that as an attack on her and get defensive. Next time you guys are alone, simply ask him in a nonconfrontational way, I feel like you ignore me when your daughter is around. Tell him what he does RIGHT, and what he can do better to make you happy, and he'll be open to listening. Acts like you're not there. Be kind and mature. Be with him a couple of more years then you will know the love he has for his close ones. It was one of the signs that I didn't notice. And if he doesnt respond, youll end up feeling even more angry and resentful. If youre out together let your boyfriend know where you want to go. Maybe shes having some mental health or personal issues and hes trying to be supportive of her through a rough time. What if he does have those feelings and admits it. This. Op needs to talk to him. If my gf was super close to her sister i wouldnt care lol. From the sounds of it, it does not sound like a healthy relationship. You're lucky to have him as he treats women well. First of all some background: I (21) am dating a guy who is 22 and he has a 19 year old sister. Girlfriends, boyfriends, or spouses do not stand a chance. Im close to all my siblings, I have three of them. Regardless if their relationship is strange the actual issue is with you and him. Do NOT drag his sister into the conversation. OP seems to try to please the bf by borrowing his hobbies, but he doesn't seem that interested in keeping her happy. I hear you, but I just think getting hurt by jokes about your skills during video games calls for communication rather than breaking up. At a ball, you cannot keep a single partner. If youre in the dark about whats going on, send a message like: Is something wrong?. my boyfriend ignores me when his sister is aroundsanta cruz surfboards. But you don't have to stick around. He'll never figure it out on his own if you don't verbalize it, and he'll never have the insentive to make the effort, if there are no consequences. Her boyfriend may not even realize how differently he is treating her vs his sister, or that she even cares about it. I would do that for no one. Thats stating a reasonable boundary and any pushback isnt acceptable including its just a joke. In the talk, focus on how his actions affect you. Something my ex knew I didn't enjoy. In fact, its only going to make things worse. Honestly OP, if this has changed since youve been dating, he may just not be that into you anymore. Let's not forget He takes them both on outings and asks HIS SISTER where she wants to go to eat and not ask the girlfriend? You're not just going to have to put up with this for the time being, you're going to have to put up with this for as long as you date, even if you end up getting married he will continue to put her ahead of you. Being on the receiving end is painful and frustrating. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 at 800-799-7233, or you can message with someone by texting START to 88788. While this article explores the best things you can do when your boyfriend ignores you, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation. I'm sure your boyfriend isn't trying to hurt you or make fun of you; being around other people is just very tiring for him. Also there's just some dudes that are wierdly close and loyal to their families. Op doesn't have a problem with her bf buying stuff for his sister. Seems like a good time to get out of Alabama. Now, before say anything, hear me out. Geez, get out of here with that BS. If he insists she has to be there everywhere you two go, that would raise red flags to me. It's not something to feel selfish about. Would I be right in saying you probably feel like this is something you can't talk to him about because you don't want to seem selfish? Its like hes dating his sister and not you. Do not get defensive or aggressive because if push comes to shove, he will choose his daughter. Not all dudes end up like mine did but honestly it reminds me of that relationship. I can see why and where youre coming from and its understandable imo. THIS! If your boyfriend is getting mad at you every time you wear revealing clothes, talk about it. No one should ever feel like the third wheel in their own relationship. I once knew an 18 year old man with a lovely girlfriend he had been with for a year. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'beingagoodparent_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_4',150,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-beingagoodparent_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0');To put things into perspective, me and my wife have been married for 11 years with two daughters. How long you will tolerate it is up to you. If this is the reason, you need to respect his wishes and not force yourself into meeting his daughter. OP isn't asking for him to ignore his sister altogether. After all, if youre not able to fix things the only other solution is to break up. Maybe he feels like you'll say something that will make his friends uncomfortable. Or sexual! Honestly I think this is just a learning point in your life. I bet if we heard the story from the boyfriends side itll be a totally different situation Do you know that feeling of wanting to impress someone new in your life? My boyfriend and I went to get gas the other day and since his sister was still asleep and didnt want to get up and go, he made us stop by this shop and he bought her a random pair of socks with dogs on them just because. Its ok to say Im really hurt right now or I feel rejected right now. But he doesn't really want the social part of one. Most definitely not excusing the boyfriend here, they need a serious talking to. my boyfriend ignores me when his sister is around. Or did you miss where I said that? Sometimes it feels like our relationships have a mind of their own, playing out in ways we don't always understand, and it's easy to blame yourself. He needs to take care of you too. Do you fancy going to X, just us two? Also initiate where you want to eat sometimes. Tell him you dont like when he threatens you in this way and that it makes you feel unsafe., Love to know what version of reddit youre on, OP: my bf spends alot of time with his sister, I want us to spend more time together, alone.. He ignores you intentionally so he can condition you. It's really frustrating, and it has got to a point where I dread going to his parents house, when she's there. Whether its his sister, his mom, a friend, why would you be ok with him treating you like that? Your boyfriend isn't ignoring you because he doesn't care about you or because he wishes you weren't therehe's trying to fit in with his friends, and he doesn't know how to do that with you around. No its not bf time if he hasnt made the effort to spend quality time with you. How do I bring it up without sounding needy/crazy?, Reddit: Be an adult and communicate with him about your needs and boundaries. At the end of the day, you cant make someone pay attention to you. So those factors and then coupled with everything else hes mentioned. Cuz if u do, I got bad news for u You aren't being insensitive or insecure, your feelings are incredibly valid. And youre not going to keep sending him message after message for him to ignore or continue groveling about how sorry you are. my boyfriend ignores me when his sister is around. Remember that you always absolutely deserve to be taken care of and accommodated as much as youve done for your bf now even if its difficult and daunting to leave what you have now to start something new. After all, when he's with his friends, he wants to relax and enjoy their company; starting an argument is probably the last thing on his mind. on the bright side he sounds like a great older brother for his sis. When they realize they will not ever find someone they don't have a single issue with it just might be too late. Dont phrase it in a way that makes it the sisters fault. Better to ditch him. Being honest it sounds like he's not that into her. Only hearing one side of the story makes it difficult to respond with any credibility. A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. No matter how unfair it may seem, your boyfriend is doing the right thing by putting his daughter first. Accept the situation. We often prioritise your sister and I dont enjoy when you make jokes at my expense. When my brother tagged along, we could literally stay out until the sunrise if we wanted to Perhaps the dynamics in their house is the same way? Stop trying to make plans with him, stop trying to get his attention. I never had the freedom to stay out late or just enjoy my time with friends and my boyfriend if I was alone. when my boyfriend is with his friends, he completely ignores me, he doesnt text or call me, he makes no form of contact till the next day, half the time he doesnt even tell me when his going out. If your boyfriend is ignoring your texts in front of his friends, it might be because he's embarrassed to text you. If so, try to tone it down a bit and make sure that any time you spend with his friends is on neutral groundthat way, you won't feel self-conscious or out of place, either! You might be the best girlfriend ever, and they might be super nice to you, but it's normal for your boyfriend to want to impress them. My Girlfriend Doesn't Text Me Like She Used To (Problem Solutions). They most likely arent having a romantic/sexual relationship, but your bf already has a gfhis sister. Ignoring somebody is usually a way of dodging a situation, or a punishment of some sort. Edit: clearly downvoted by those with crappy relationships with their siblings lol. That percentage will drop as you get older and life becomes more stressful and complicated, but as a rule of thumb, if you find yourself feeling unhappy about something more than half of the time, it's fix it or leave it. Communicate! You are putting in so much effort and he's giving you nothing. The bigger thing that's happening when you don't draw boundaries and come down hard on these things is that you erode your self esteem. Never think you need someones approval to feel a certain way. I think you definitely need to take a look at a few things. Do that and you can make bad people good and good people bad. Get the hell out of there before you are trapped forever!!!!!!! Sorry, but it sounds like he just wants a girlfriend to say he has one when people ask. Its sad and shows he's not ready for a relationship or even a normal friendship if he can't figure out how to deal with multiple people in a group.