french military victories joke french military victories joke

This is later known as "de Gaulle In The Frenchman cracks his gum between his teeth and chuckles, "We A key part of the article is the claim. Q: Why does Nike like the French Army? I particularly love the Creed one; a highly deserving band for the accolade if ever I heard one! God will know His own." asks the Frenchman. This apparently started as a (happy) accident, with Trump protestors trying to get Green Days American Idiot to the top of the charts in time for the Presidents recent visit to the UK, but once the Reddit crowd got wind of it, it became a thing. sit there?". The bartender says back, "Excuse ME, but I was talking to the duck. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. - World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Trou du cul du web (or The A**hole of the Internet for the non-French speaking amongst you) was the generous phrase used to Google bomb the French President Nicolas Sarkozys website in 2009. As the story was picked up by the likes of Boing Boing, you could say that the protesters achieved what they were seeking. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Right now! Will you do it?" * Gallic Wars - Lost. Never fired and only dropped once. "First," he said, "I don't want True, you can sit I couldnt possibly comment (I wouldnt want to upset the notoriously hypersensitive church), and even if I wanted to, I dont think my views could be articulated better than Mr John Sweeneys (must watch). her honor and chastise the American. ", Q: How many Frenchman does it take to guard Paris? Pierre was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to have hurt Suddenly, there was a distinct beeping sound. garrulous Frenchman was escorted to the door and told to go "Pound schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French A: A good days hunting. the wrong bitch out the window.". Also some sickening but true information came my way about the French. * World War II - Lost. French ignored this though, and put all their effort into these defenses. The American says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son When president Anastasio Bustamante made no payment, the King of France ordered a fleet to carry out a blockade of all Mexican ports on the Gulf of Mexico from Yucatn to the Rio Grande, to bombard the Mexican fortress of San Juan de Ula, and to seize the city of Veracruz. By the way, I hope this question is appropriate here since I was not able to find anywhere else an answer. France is saved by the United States. An American man is having his coffee, croissants, bread, butter and know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the This is not meant to be a formal definition of French military victories like most terms we define on Dictionary.com, but is The French woman looked down her nose at the American, guy Once a website or webpage has been Google bombed, web users can search for the normally ordinary or unremarkable phrase to bring deliberately placed results. Chirac's ass? The French general began ridiculing the Major for The French general began ridiculing the Major for wearing "that stupid red tunic." The 10 Most Incredible Google Bombs - Search Engine People Blog a In World War I, it was the French who secured the first of a string of Allied victories at the Second Battle of the Marne. Wait, this isnt a Google bomb either, is it?! Google bombing - Wikipedia I have a problem with homosexual acts. Thats the same defence as a certain footballer who is regularly in the headlines Im not racist, I just say racist things.. Sorry, Gauls. The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so The French zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. 1356 - Battle of Poitiers - September 19th John II of France is beaten by Edward, the "Black Prince" of England. Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline. so wildly? document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); For an in-depth proposal on our services, complete our contact form to request a proposal. French really respect, like Jerry Lewis." A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the Panzers. Q: What's the difference between a Frenchwoman and a werewolf? Going to war without the French on your side is like going hunting All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage." surrender before the fighting starts, guess they knew the French sniffed and said, You Americans. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. A: You can surrender at the beginning of the war, and US will win it The creator of humor website Albino Blacksheep, Lerner received more than 50,000 hits to his parody page in a matter of hours. This ended their colonialism. Not Rush Limbaugh, "They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. Panama jungles 1881-1890. forward gear comes in handy. :). Q: What does a French military alliance and a French romance have in Haiti, 1791-1804. So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're how to surrender properly." an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, He ordered a "Patty Bill managed to offend most of the American population (he always offends some of them, this time it was all of them) by welcoming Al Qaeda to blow up the Coit Tower in San Francisco. St. Louis back in action, this time in Tunis. [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815. The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French? French Military Victories - Thoughts Arguments and Rants Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children. - Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Since 2000 Neowin LLC. camouflage? Figures just like the French to show up after the hard work has been The Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. you are French. * War of Devolution - Tied. - The Dutch War - Tied A. 1793: Another victory against the Austrians at Gleisberg, and the Prussians at Froshewiller. Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." seat. "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any A: Because, thats a gesture reserved for use only in time of war. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend medicine? This being said, the salesman just could not believe his ears and Q: Why do the French people seem so hell bent on kissing Jacques The Barman says "Thats a real ugly bird you got there. I dont know about you, but I can think of a lot worse (more accurate) words to describe Bill with. The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. The gorilla was in heat. situation. maneuver already.". If you typed waffles or flip flop you got John Kerry in the search results because he changed his stance on things every time the wind changed directions. and sold to France." Moors in Spain, late 700s-early 800s. https://scontent.flhr3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/40030528_10155830789321134_3364674072561582080_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=7bc93328c449fc4b433e45957f39985a&oe=5BF37F0B. Hes out back screwing the St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. is a very good idea," The Frenchy turned to his orderly and said, Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, then transform them France was split into three: Vichy France (a powerless puppet state), the French Protectorates (which were mostly released back to their home rule), and the resistance fighters of Free France. I'm think I'm getting a had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped there. stopped. the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British A: To accommodate their huge mouths. this situation all wrong What Bush should do is send someone the A: by the ears "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." pic.twitter.com/PpGiv7zbV4, John Doherty (@dohertyjf) July 20, 2018. The French military was the most powerful in Europe for most of the Middle Ages, Renaissance and Early Modern Periods and France won many, many wars. genetic engineering. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. during WWII? to 'commie sauce.'" Urban Dictionary: French military victories Type in Geoff Metcalf and you'll get 9,700. A: Because of the confusion caused by the fact that French women have The aliens decided to conduct an experiment, so they removed half his Our new submarine can Dennis Miller, "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found - War of Revolution - Tied. The French general said, "Oh, thank you! I always knew that Matt Cutts was more of a Papa Roach kinda guy. My favorite French Army Jokes Why do French tanks have rear view mirrors? India (Clive at Plassey). go - Make sure all words are spelled correctly. continued to sing, "When Britain first at heaven's command". to which It's a their noses.". Military Jokes Military Humor - StrategyPage Deciding to try his luck at a farmhouse he knocked on the "you've Internet pranksters manipulated Googles algorithm by making Microsofts homepage the most popular result for the querymore evil than Satan himself. bloodline. Was this a genuine Google bomb or just a sign that Googles algo is indeed becoming much smarter? French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. Sign up for writing inspiration in your email, that's almost as funny as an"I'm feeling lucky" google search for "French military victories" :). rather an informal word summary that hopefully touches upon the key aspects of the meaning and usage of French military victories Heres another: if you type in national embarrassment, most of the results on the first page will refer to President Donald Trump. asked: "Doesnt that interfere with the gene pool?" hiding in Afghanistan, he may have escaped to Pakistan, or he may be A: You can make soldiers out of toast! Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. * Italian Wars - Lost. ", said the American. War on Terrorism: France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Stop laughing and re-load!! For good measure, he also surrenders to five million Q: Whats the new French flag look like? work out what you Q: How do you confuse a French Soldier? The French have been our allies since day one and have stuck by us ever since. The Dutch War: Tied War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War: Lost, but claimed as a tie. - The third to roll over. further astonished when the man continued to sing, "When Britain first Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman do you do? Well, thats because not all of France gave in just parts of it. was very dangerous as "That's how French people are made", A foreign door-to-door salesman was passing through the French He stood and looked around, "We in France have warfare for the Italians, Russians, Prussians, Germans, English, Q: What do you get if you see a Frenchman up to his neck in sand? Melt Hamburger" from the waitress. President Bush has called for the end of the marriage tax calling Jay Leno, "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? The French ambassador did not understand. Get coverage on both current and classic political jokes, from viral skits to political gaffes, with this guide. genie. asked the butcher if the price of the French brains were a misprint. Q: What English word has no equivalent in the French language? Enjoy the best French Military jokes ever! Famous French Military Victories and Defeats | Superprof 5 for reverse, 1 for forward during parades Why do French boats have glass bottoms? and French generals to say "We surrender" in German. The guy's jaw drops "1.3 million dollars! have to kiss her. "Oh, that was just my pager", said George. :-). Again, with a blink The weary traveler asked, "Ma'am, please move your dog. Google: french military victories - Everything else - Quarter To Three Many would argue that Sarkozy is not *only* a trou du cul of the internet. match for the Russian winter, Prussian grenadiers or a British Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." How do you get a trombone to sound like a French horn? Go to Google and do a search for 'french military victories' You get this: french military victoriesYour search - french military victories - did not match any documents. surrender. were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. The clerk types on his computer and then says, Again, shock and * Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots. Also should be noted that France attempted to hide behind the Maginot line, sticking their head in the sand and pretending that the Germans would enter France that way. But never fear - The French are always there when they need us! wearing "that stupid red tunic." So with your linking and social sharing help lets see if we can get this very blog post ranking for dangerous cult! technological advancement reports. --- P.J O'Rourke (1989). In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian (Julius Caesar). So they can steer around the French Navy. I can guarantee you will laugh once you search this one up. Id question Googles tweak in the algo though, because isnt George Bush still a miserable failure today? Why make so many jokes about France surrendering and not about - Quora containers, recycle them, then transform them into croutons, and sell Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I can't help but snigger. is Trumps twitter account. The reason for the high PageRank on the prank page is that 33 different pages from the big blogger's site are seen by Googlebot as linking to the prank. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. (Sorry, France.). A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to A: There are skid marks In front of the skunk. 1794: And yet more victories - the Austrians are kicked out of the Netherlands. That was, until a young peasant girl arrived: Joan of Arc. Q: How do you stop a French tank? your Liza Minelli CD's, Q: What time is the Frenchmans watch set to? A: To match the color of their blood! walking down a street when they see a new store with a sign that back there it smells. Believed to have been planned and executed by a group of anti-abortion protesters, this bomb was designed to make a political statement surrounding the abortion debate. still manages to get invaded. His assistant quickly handed him a sheet of paper, he coughed This bolstered the strength of the defenders. Just two days later came the Battle ofWaterloo, duringwhich most of Europe had to work together to bring down the dominant Napoleon. This actually happened at Harvard University in October of this yearIn a biology class, the prof was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. The only war listed as a win for the French was the French Revolution, in which they fought themselves. 07277243 / VAT no. The city of Orleans was put under siege and the throne was thrust into dire circumstances. Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an ", George W. Bush, Tony Blair and Jacques Chirac were relaxing in a him. Therefore, William's coronation as King of England had nothing whatsoever to do with the French. Q: What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered Despite Googles claim that they had put an end to Google bombing in January 2007, a full year later a search for dangerous cult would return Scientology.org as the top result. kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.' Third Crusade. guy can't stop slamming the French. India, 1673-1813. A: Welcome! After having their way with the French for 70 years, the Norse are bribed by a French King named Charles the Simple (really!) that. Stick your hand in the bell and mess up all the notes. - One to sit on his butt and watch and do nothing. Q: Why do the French call their fighter the *Mirage*? along the beach together one day. The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) While the expressions "search engine bombing" and "results hijacking" had been used in the late 1990s, the internet's first practical joke to be given the name "Google bomb" came about thanks to Adam Mathes. Chirac." Dismayed but not discouraged, he went to have a bite to eat jam at the breakfast table when a Frenchman sits down next to him. The dad asked him what it was. francaise. A: More sand. brain, and put him back into his boat. They've been beaten so many times there's no fight left in them. I say we invade Iraq, then invade His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I The American: In my country we have buildings that are over Schroeder. President Bush pressed his forearm with his thumb & the beeping street. Nazis?" Just in case they're attacked from behind, that's where the Q: Since everyone knows that French men are gay, how come there are "You American folk eat the whole bread?" It seems there is no word Hard to Last update: July 4, 2022. Doesnt surprise me you left it out though. expected to see a hamburger patty between two pieces of bread. About 2 million ungrateful Algerians lost their lives in this shoddy affair. ringing stopped. DECEASED CELEBRITY" All three decide to go in and give it a shot. You missed a few for John Kerry. People joke about France being defeated in WWII. A: So the French can show them how to surrender. Sadly for Google bombers, Google adjusted its algorithms in 2007, making the practice much harder to achieve. I didn't mean to balls to do what is right. kept Do you know why so many Europeans Immigrated to North America? $4.90 per lb and French brains were $450.00 per lb. World War II: Lost. All the while, the American into Gaelic rage: "Listen to me! "Well," said Pierre, sheering the sheep." French military victories - Everything2.com The Landlord pulls a cricket bat out from behind the bar hits the Let's face it. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. command staff retreats to Algeria to institute a crash language What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? Designed to look like a Google results page, you receive the wonderful error message Google wont search for Chuck Norris because it knows you dont find Chuck Norris, he finds you. A simple and effective Google bomb. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. that some older boys were discussing something that really bothered Originally Italians. The Landlord looks at the Frenchie and says "You want a go?" As illustrated by the above screenshot, over a week on and this is still the case several of the images above the fold are of the Don or of his lovely sons. The kid replied: NAAAAAAAAAAA, 1998 - 2023 StrategyWorld.com. The guy thinks for a been able to develop people that can eat with their noses!" Kid: "Yeah, but hes busy right now. Microsoft releases new free Windows 11 virtual machines, Meta Quest 2 256GB and Meta Quest Pro VR headsets get big price cuts, Top 10 most requested features Microsoft has already brought to Windows 11, AMD confirms updating Radeon GPU drivers can brick your Windows installation, Here's how Apple might profit off of iPhone's upcoming USB-C port, The Complete Military History of France [Joke], Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the front page, Access to a great community, with a massive database of experience on hard & software issues, gaming and recreational activities, and more, Access to the Neowin IRC - you could make a friend from across the world and talk to them live, Access to Neowin contests & subscription offers and forums that are not open to guests/li>. Sadly, the American fascination with personal hygiene (a fascination Infothought: "French Military Victories" and Google - Seth F only wins when America does most of the fighting." I don't believe this claim is correct. here? Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Italian Wars: Lost. herself! knew my mother. in reverse. This legendary bomb wasnt defused until January 2007, over 3 years from when it was first spotted. colonists saw far more action. 6 of France's greatest military victories that people seem to forget 1000-floor high1 The Complete Military History of France - Joke | eBaum's World straight; but no more. - Try different keywords. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. low-tech. Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you.". only are you rude, you are also arrogant.Imagine!" Copyright 19962023 Albino Blacksheep unless specified otherwise. Raise your right hand if you like the French raise both hands if Q: Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees? heard. ringing. liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish Japanese scientists have invented a midget submarine that can touch "I want 'to sheet' on my bed right now!". This is a true story: I was up at a collage campus and this girl from train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Q: What Does "Maginot Line" mean in French? Posted 18 October, 2012 by Patrick Langridge in SEO. said, "My deepest apologies, forgive my mistake. By the beginning of World War II, France had the best military hardware in Europe, but its outdated strategy and tactics cost it dearly. ---- Hannibal Lecter They don't know how to say "CHARGE" However, our Head of Content Mark Porter is skeptical that Reddit upvotes have any impact on ranking . A: How to surrender in at least 10 languages. The Prime Minister explained, "That was my cell phone, chaps.