Maybe youre not good. He told me he didnt see us going anywhere further after about 10 months ago he asked my parents if he could marry me. If your ex is hesitant to start dating again and expresses that to you, its probably because he still has feelings. We also know from studying avoidants that they will tend to push you away when dealing with complicated emotions (like a breakup) and you just need to give them space which is definitely difficult to do. We are going to be going through a lot of different things an ex will say. But if it happens at the end of the date and the hug lasts for a long time. But considering we didnt break up because a lack of love/chemistry/attraction/etc., do we still have a chance? Click here to watch his simple and genuine video. Did you like my article? Does he stall or drag his feet on finishing things up? Like, will he ever get back together with you? I never really loved you seems to do quite nicely in this circumstance, huh? If hes sleeping around with other people, its a good indicator that he didnt take the intimacy you shared very seriously, or it was never important to him in the first place. He recently reached out and said he wanted to talk but then forgot. Another interesting aspect of the UG is that they are always busy. If he tries to give you your stuff back, its a clear sign that he doesnt want any reminders of you in his life anymore, and hes ready to move on for good. The fact that he feels the need to keep talking about it shows that youre still on his mind. Seriously, really take a look at the phrase. I was completely wrong, but I loved him and wanted to believe that he still loved me. If an ex is saying but at the end of the this statement its usually not authentic. Last week he went to his sisters to think after an argument and after telling me he wasnt happy anymore. After one breakup, I became fixated on the fact that I left a shawl and a book at an ex's house. If youve tried to get back with your ex but failed, perhaps the real problem is a closed mind. Some like to start arguments. Its actually not the worst thing when a guy reacts emotionally like this because it means that he has feelings towards you. He started getting a few things from our apartment while I was at work with our daughter (some clothes, his buzzers, his vitamins) but there is still a closet full of stuff and some furniture that is strictly his.. Im thinking he just hasnt gotten it bc hes sleeping on his sisters couch until her extra bedroom is ready in 2 weeks. He may even feel guilty. Be honest about his flaws. These are the two factors you are going to want to pay attention to. Disregard that your ex ever said that and move forward - not on - with your life. Well, because of the second thing Im going to talk to you about today. The two of us went out on one date and after some thinking on my part I decided to inform her in a subtle way that I was not interested in her. Because once you paint a new picture about what your life together could be like, his emotional walls wont stand a chance. This one I consider to be the closure question. Me being tired of the games told him that I wanted to talk and ultimately explained that it was giving me false hope and it kept me wondering if wed ever get back together to which he responded basically no, its just not going to work. It helps to reestablish your own identity, and highlight that the person you were with isnt the only type of person out there. When someone tries to convince you of something, its human nature to always come up with a counterargument. According to Psychology Today, giving somebody you love the freedom to choose is vital in a healthy relationship. If we both work on ourselves? Its been 10 weeks now and I am feeling good. Men dont usually hunger and yearn for an ex's attention if they have fallen out of love. So, if you want to find out if your ex is being authentically nice to you because they care about you then simply take Carl Jung advice. Hi Penn, I would say that you are in a position to start the program now as you know where you stand, while I understand that the relationship was those things you mentioned, for you. Just taht I love you and don't deserve you etc. They say time heals. Hes trying to sound like hes protecting you but in reality hes only being selfish. So this is one of my favorite lines. It broke my heart. Reprinted with permission from the author. This, of course, would mean that your ex is over you. weve done no contatc for a couple days. Here are the 5 clear cut five signs that he actually wants you back. Having your ex say they want to move on to someone else is a classic grass is greener syndrome. He maybe isnt being truthful when spending time with you. What he is really saying is that he hates what has happened to your relationship. If you cant figure out what someone is doing then simply look at the outcome.. In addition to sending a bunch of unanswered texts she is also calling her ex boyfriend up. Its whats best! Of course, I am going to be playing your ex boyfriend and plan to give you insight on each of my reactions. In this new guide we are going to be taking some of the most common things an ex will say during or after a breakup and dissecting them for you so that you can understand exactly what they mean. If his friends keep dropping hints that he misses you, he's probably not subtle about how he still has feelings for you. I thought I told you to never talk to me again.. Drunk dialing is annoying, but it shows that hes thinking about you. Do his new hobbies faintly echo things he knows you would approve of? When your ex is telling you that they want you to move on they do want you to move on. Last Updated January 6, 2023, 11:40 am, by Lets tackle this question as logically as we can. Its okay if it takes a long time for someone to reply. Now that you are no longer together, the rose-colored glasses have come off and you just no longer hold the same importance to your ex that you used to have. Ive not seen him for 3 weeks but was talking everyday not about the kids so Im confused with whats going on. But if he talks about memories of your relationship fondly, or brings them up from time to time, its a strong indicator that he still thinks about you a lot. Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed. 15 Be Yourself You know that you should be yourself, and it turns out that the oldest and most classic piece of advice around is super true. Could you call your ex and both get ahold of him and have him help you? Its nice to feel wanted and needed and he will miss that feeling after a while. But there are two ways to break this trick hes pulling. If a hug happens at a breakup then its not that big of a deal. They are similar comments but ironically have completely different meanings. Something tells me your ex didnt say it in this way, otherwise you probably wouldnt be on this site. The two of you are probably fighting a lot. Im stuck. If its space that you need and one of the reasons you two broke up, and he respects that space, its a good thing. Hi Alexa, I am so sorry you are going through this right now. Thats not what happens at all. Of course, not all breakups are created equal. Reasons you might still feel like you love your ex include: You have fond memories of your time together You tend to remember the good times (and forget about the bad) You're focused on your ex's good qualities, but you ignore their negative traits You are still attracted to them You're grieving the loss of what you could have had together So, lets take a moment and dissect whats really going on in his head. Yesterday I got out my car and bumped into my ex. Her work has been featured in Zoosk, PopSugar, The Good Men Project, Bustle, Ravishly, SheKnows, Minds Journal, and more. If you can, unfriend him, even if you think you might want him back because having him in your face all the time isnt going to help you feel better. Ultimately this was the last fight of their relationship. I repeat do not block him on anything. Saying I never liked you definitely hurts but its a poor mans I never loved you., (By the way Bob is a fake name for a friend.). Part of me thinks hes really never coming back, is going to move on very fast, and doesnt love me anymore. If hes not sorry for what he did to hurt you and your relationship, then its probably a good idea to move on anyway because he doesnt deserve you. Its not me, its you = Its you, its not me. Besides, I can probably give you hundreds of examples where an ex boyfriend said this to an ex girlfriend and then HE ends up being the one that gets in contact with her. Here are 15 ways to make sure you're the one that he'll never forget. Then you need to check out our FREE eBook,The Ex Back Handbook. Click here to get $50 off your first session (exclusive offer for Hack Spirit readers). It was at this point that my friendly nature ceased to exist and Reid (as my wife likes to call him) came out. WRONG! It looks specifically at a scenario where you (the ex girlfriend) goes a little crazy and contacts him too much. Does he show signs of interest? Its time If you want some help with this, then you need to watch relationship expert Brad Brownings excellent free video right now. Oftentimes men dont know how to express themselves as well as women do and so they resort to the easiest thing that comes to mind. Oxytocin is associated with bonding and connection. We had been friends for 2y before that. Well, often times your ex can blame you for the breakup without actually blaming you. What we have to look at though is if they are ghosting you or avoiding you. I am going to tell you the story of a girl that I went out on a date with a long time ago. Its these extreme situations that have a low percentage of success that you have to watch out for. Hi Aleah, it just means that he doesnt like that its hurting you and him doing the hurting. I am sure if he was honest with himself he really doesnt mean it. What you may not realize though is that by him saying Im not feeling this anymore he is satisfying the its me part of the its not you, its me phrase we are dissecting in this section. This is a perfect explanation of the blame game your ex is playing here. If he twiddles his thumbs, seems nervous, breaks eye contact, or shies away from any of your gestures, its a big warning sign. If your ex checks in on you fairly regularly to see how youre doing, its a good sign he still cares about you. Your ex breaks up with you and at some point you either beg for them back or do something that makes them think you want them back. Since we broke up, he has not really said much. If you really want your old relationship with him back, its up to you to decide if friendship would be healthy or if it would just be too difficult. I dont care how well behaved a man is. I would suggest that you work the program and show him what he has lost. Resorting to magical thinking is one way that people hold out hope that their ex still loves them after a breakup. Answer (1 of 17): It simply means that even though the relationship was terminated before leading up to "living happily ever after", that you showed him/her things, or made him/her feel a way they know they won't forget in a lifetime. Mens caring comes through in their actions more than any other way. It never feels good to fight. Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations, like getting an ex back. I phoned him to test the waters so to speak and the first 1.5hrs was a great conversation talking about general stuff until it slowly turned into us and our relationship where he started pushing me away but he still said he cared a lot for me and is always there if I need him but he also said what would you do if I brought you jewellery if you have a new man this confused me alot and was random! This article was originally published at Attract The One. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. As a result, his new girlfriend has heard a lot about you. He could go to therapy and get help. Oh, and since I am such a good looking girl the guy checking me out smiles and nods. Most breakups lead to all communication ceasing and the connection being fully broken. Im very happy because my advisor was very kind and compassionate. Ask yourself, is he showing any signs of reciprocation? Obviously, you should get rid of these feelings as soon as possible. On the other hand, if your ex is texting it to you with the intent of becoming friends with benefits then its a lot less likely that they mean what they are saying. At the very beginning of the interview Sarah says something interesting. So, we go back and forth over your cat and the fight starts to evolve as bad fights usually do. Thank you jodie, Hey Thana, you can post here or you can look into the products on this website to help you further, So my husband walked out on me and the kids moved and hour away to his toxic family that hate me because l bring out the best in him and hes now working for free on their farm . The question you are coming to me to answer is why? Inside it crushed me but I felt compelled to keep my poker face. So, to hear that your ex boyfriend could potentially be throwing all of that out the window is especially painful. Its not that its just not good anymore I mean, saying I love you to someone and meaning it in that deep personal way is a big deal. Hes moving on from the relationship you had and never looking back. He said he just wants to talk to random females and be someone he isnt. Hi Chris and team, I appreciate all the efforts you guys make to make this site very helpful. Your email address will not be published. Know that you're not alone. I cant seem to be able to move on or break the cycle though. So your ex had already "forgotten" you and that is why they broke up with you. If hes still trying to consistently show you his good side, he cares about your approval, which is a sign he still loves you. You are living the perfect life. We are still living together because we have a month left on the lease. When it comes to a breakup, the same principle applies. So, what it all boils down to is a function of how severe the damage during the relationship was to him. Ready? If he really wants to tell you something, he will eventually come out with it sober, so dont believe anything he says if he chooses to call you when hes drunk. If he's poking you on Facebook, don't poke back. This is a question I cant wait to tackle in-depth. Lachlan Brown Now, before I finish this article up finally I want to make sure that you fully grasp what I am telling you here. He isnt as good at handling his emotions as you are. The idea here is to make it look like this other guy is checking you out. I would say that he has become bored in the relationship and that he is looking for that high that you get when you are in the honeymoon phase. He looked at me like a lost pup. What if I were to tell you that your beloved Ex Boyfriend Recovery site is still a small fish in a big pond? My Ex and I are in our early 20s. Its a pretty clear sign that maybe he doesnt want you back. Yet, when you take me back to my very first relationship way back when I was a kiddo in high school I am pretty sure that when the inevitable break up did happen (and high school breakups are often inevitable) I muttered the words, I hate you, to my ex. After all, there is a reason that they compare losing a job to going through a break up, it sucks. Does he still comment and share things you post? He said he loves me so much and wants to be with me, but just feels guilty that he cant give me all he knows I deserve. January 4, 2023, 9:03 am, by The other half of me wont believe/accept it. I did everything for him & everyone knew it .. his sister had told him lex is beautiful, shes the smartest and sweetest person I know, she loves you and ___ (our daughter) more than anything, what more do you think youre going to find? And his response was just that the feeling isnt there. He possibly is protecting himself due to the fact he was being open about his feelings now wants to avoid being rejected or hurt. It sounds like he very much wants to be single and be selfish as he has told you. The real challenge with this phrase isnt in identifying it but rather understanding it. Especially if you hope to get back with him. A few days passed and she started thinking to herself. When we spokeit was a Thursday eveningI had just been for a run and he'd just gotten home from work. This is an interesting one to psychoanalyze because often times your ex becomes irrational about blaming you for the breakup. Most of the time your ex wont blatantly say I want to be single and have fun without you.. So, for your ex to frame themselves as one of the only altruistic individuals out there seems a bit fishy to me. When your ex wants you back, his friends and family members will gently try to push you toward each other, both because they believe in love and because theyre incredibly sick of listening to him rant about you. After the breakup you realize that you made a horrible mistake and you want me back. Since we are looking specifically at him AFTER a fight you can bet good money on the fact that he was in a very negative emotional state and as a result he is going to say things that arent very logical. Not this time Im officially done I asked him again last night and he got annoyed at me. Lex no its done Ltd. We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. We did no contact for two weeks and I contacted him if he wanted to collect his stuff which turned into us talking all day but the next day he started to take HOURS to respond eventually led to him sending one message one day. He told me 5 weeks after no contact, when reaching out about my belongings that the relationship was never about me it was all about him, I said no it wasnt it was about us for several months, he said no it was never about you ask yourself why we always did what I wanted and never what you wanted why I bowled 3 nights a week and shot pool one night a week cuz it was never about you. They want to retain your vision of them as a standup altruistic caring individual. I would suggest that you also make sure that you are knowing your worth here, because your husband certainly doesnt at the moment. Feeling like that is okay; you might not be ready to move on. If your ex contacts you after a long period of no contact, that's a good sign that he might be thinking he's made a mistake. Relationships are full of intense feelings. I dont know if theres a way to reconnect with him or not. This is especially true if you get into a bad fight with one. Most of the time, you don't think about him. Do men mean it when they say they hate you? I want you to take out that same calendar and mark a weekly goal. Read our affiliate disclosure here. Now, if you are wondering what is going on in his mind to make him say this in the heat of the moment then look no further than the curious case of emotional states. I left and that was that. The thing that you really have to keep in mind here is the fact that your ex is saying this from a highly emotional state. If you do, the question becomes: does he want you back too? It takes time, have patience with yourself. Ive rarely encountered a situation where one person is entirely to blame for a breakup. And as you adapt to this huge life change, you may wish things were different. If this is the case your ex might tell you he misses you to see if you feel the same. Why Men May Take Longer to Get Over Their Exes. Usually your ex is going to say something to you like, We shouldnt be together because Im not good enough for you., We shouldnt be together because you deserve better than me.. When one of my exes told me that he didnt love me anymore, it shook me to my core. never finds the time to respond to your messages, he may be pushing you away because he loves you, Click here to watch his simple and genuine video, Click here to get $50 off your first session (exclusive offer for Hack Spirit readers), Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life, How to get your ex back after a year apart: 14 tips, 16 signs your ex wants you back but is scared of getting hurt, How to get an ex back who has lost feelings for you (no bullsh*t), How to win your husband back from the other woman, Does my ex think about me? I want you to put something on there daily and do it. The self preservation part comes into play because if were honest your ex not telling you the real reason they broke up with you is so they still are looked at favorably by you. A common feeling many people have after a breakup is the feeling that their ex is going to come back to them. Does he mention how great hes doing at the gym? I want you to do me a favor for a second here. However, if your ex has been seeing someone regularly and is in a committed relationship with them, its a clear sign that hes never coming back to you. Unfortunately, this could also be a sign hes seriously bad news, so be careful. You are going to play my ex girlfriend (who is using a 30 day no contact rule on me.) Heres a quick rundown of the situations where he could say we are never getting back together and mean it. Where do I go from here? Bobs ex went bat shit crazy and started throwing his games around while yelling and crying. Second we want to tell you what we think they actually mean. Some percentage values are much lower than the 30% mark. We Are Never Getting Back Together = If you hurt me too much during the relationship I could mean this, Of course, I have also helped women get back with their exes in all the situation above so technically nothing is set in stone. Clothes, personal items, things like this inevitably get swapped when youre in a relationship. What if I were to tell you that this is a million dollar industry? Well, this situation is very similar to that except there is a small twist. That leads to the next point, which is what he does after he gets drunk. You will look and feel your best! Perhaps he has not been receiving the level of female attention he had hoped for as a single man. Thousands of women come to this site every single day and every single day they freak out over stuff like this. Remember a few phrases back when I mentioned that an ex can authentically mean something but change their mind later. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and Ive spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Now, I remember the first time I watched him work his voodoo on a girl I was impressed but after a while it became clear that the girl he worked said voodoo on was way more attached to him than he was to her. Now, I know a high school relationship that happened close to ten years ago isnt exactly going to bring earth shattering revelations but bear with me here as I try to make my point. The reason for being together in the first place turns from "fun" to "trying to prove the other person wrong" in order to find a resolution for the whole situation. I decided to include this one because a lot of our clients have a hard time understanding why their ex is being so nice to them after a breakup. The best thing you can do in this situation is to say. They try to hurt them and knock them down a peg. Its a very similar situation to the I never loved you comment that Ive mentioned before. He might also be so devastated by your breakup that he cant imagine himself dating someone new. Did he finally get off his butt and get a job? The truth is that it could mean several different things. If you cant figure out if your ex is being authentic when they say they love you simply look at what they do. Ok, not only would that scar/mess me up for life but if I would say, we are never getting back together, to you then I would mean it. Or does he seem uncomfortable? Does he discuss or "joke" about getting back together? He texts me on Snapchat but he says he doesnt want her to know. For example, if you take two of the hardest situations. But if your ex is sleeping around with a lot of people, its a big sign that hes not coming back. Truth Is, There Are Exes You Will Never Forget. Lets face it, if he really didnt want to hurt you again, the solution is simple. In this context him saying I love you tends to be more authentic. To be honest I am not sure that this one requires too much of a buildup. //]]>, by So, there are really two things that men are trying to say when they say they hate you. But do you think her ex boyfriend means it? RELATED:10 Signs He Still Loves His Ex & Is Only Using You As A Diversion. The fact that he hadnt returned these things made me believe that there was still hope for our relationship. This is one of the weirder signs he wants you back, but hear me out. It probably threw you off completely hearing him say I wish I never met you. Spend time with him again. Required fields are marked *. Hi,been with this guy for 5 years recently we had an argument and he decided to end the relationship saying that we had so many unresolved issues that were never settled and now we cant be together but he wants us to be friends.He said he still loves me but we can only be friends.I tried telling him we can work out things but he refused. We havent spoken for 3 days so far and Im unsure on what to do or say to try and pursue things. I reached out. These are all questions you are probably found yourself asking. His sister was also my best friend and has been trying to be there as much as possible. But lets get out of this fantasy world where I am a woman and come back to the real world where I am teaching you to become the ungettable girl. Instead of those situations starting at the general 30% mark they would start at the 10 20% marks respectively. Its a strong sign that he still has an interest in you and he might want you back. You spent so much time reflecting on your behavior, but it's time for you to examine his. Scroll back up to the top of this page and read the introduction section. Hes moving on with his life and making sure you arent part of it. She's probably supportive of him, but she also has a lot of her own feelings about you. With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and your experiences. But if he never wants to hang out with you, its a good sign hes not coming back. Are they being nice to you because they want something? and than blocked me. I want you to take a moment and imagine something for me. If hes avoiding eye contact with you, hes avoiding a very personal connection, one that you used to share a lot of. Too bad for him! He might have genuinely meant it in the moment. Now, I am the kind of person that absolutely hates confrontation so I didnt want to have to start a fight with her but I knew I was going to have to lay down the law when I got a similar text message to this one day. But if hes suggesting that you move on from him and try to see other people, hes trying to tell you that hes never coming back. But one day you notice your boyfriend has a very sad look on his face. Lets take a moment to dissect some of them. Heck, I wouldnt even be shocked if you just scrolled straight down to this section and skipped all the others. He maintains contact with you when he doesn't have to. [CDATA[ Or just put his arm around you when you feel vulnerable. Your ex is basically telling you that you didnt do anything to make him leave. Whether youre the one who got dumped or youre the one who initiated the split, its going to involve pain. So, whats most likely happening is that your ex is blaming you so they dont feel guilty about taking responsibility for the mistakes they made. Hes most likely trying to drink to forget you. If hes still initiating contact with your people after the breakup, he might be trying to keep tabs on what youre up to. I am walking into a restaurant and since my ex is a gentlemen he holds the door open for me. Well, in his mind he is going to think I can do better than her at this point and that is where to start to see the its not yous, its me come into play. Just dont answer any texts or calls that are from unknown numbers. Now, I didnt want to completely cut her out of my life. Take me for example, I am a pretty nice guy. Hey Shasta you are doing the right things, it takes time. And the thing about GIGS is that sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesnt. Anyway he got with some girl pretty quickly and we were still talking sexting and hooked up twice, then weve been sexting for the last 3 weeks etc had a massive argument because he cant get home unless I collect him they are pretty controlling and hes always working, but hes messaging other girls broke up with this girl and keeps telling me hes messaging other women and to move on, he blocked me then messaged me after unblocking to tell me he blocked me lol we have kids together and he missed a birthday because he was too busy, so that caused an argument now hes telling me hes not interested in me like that, not going to do sexting and to move on again. This situation is very similar to situation number 1 when a boyfriend tells you to never talk to him again. His feelings for you might still be too strong to think about other people. This is the most mind boggling statement he could make, right? Hello, my ex boyfriend is in a rebound relationship and I find when hes away from her. I simply couldnt believe that this man who had been lovingly rubbing my back the night before had abruptly fallen out of love with me. If he stops following you, its because he doesnt want to be reminded of you anymore. You're lonely and not used to being on our own. This is more about the narrative that is in your exes head. Feeling like that is okay; you might not be ready to move on.